Sunday, October 7, 2012

Poem to the future Hubby...Make This Matter

<3 Make this matter <3

Serve me your  heart on a platter 
&& even let it splatter on my fam n friends, 
Then you can have me with all my loops && ends, 
smiles && grins,
trust && plans
Be my fearless David, 
My dreaming Joseph, 
My enduring Paul...
Love me deeply, completely, truly
Ill give u my all...  
When we fall let it be on pillows of grace, 
When we hurt let our knees be the first place,
When it all seems wrong let his plan make it right
Serve me your heart on a platter,
But baby please make it matter!
Everlasting Game 
Im so helpless in my misery

The jealosy that defies me

Comparisons undermine me

I seek and I regret

I long for but see failures

It burns me with shame

an everlasting game

Friday, June 8, 2012

C H A N G E

Almost daily I ask can I truly change, change my character from the beginning of time.Selfish, Lustful, Proud, Unforgiving...How can my twisted thoughts turn into Holy longings? How do I strive for His goals when I have been striving for mine all my life. How do I change that after 21 years of my own tyranny? How do I give it all up for something I can't see and will only have at the end?

Well Ladies and gentleman...I think it requires a lot of prayer, discipline, and drive.

"Your desire for change M U S T  be stronger than your desire to stay the same."

Monday, May 28, 2012

Wow so my parents have told me the most meaningful  things EVER today. You are paying rent and you are growing up! LOL Yes it hurts to know that I am spoiled, selfish brat, who thinks everything in this world is easy to get and even easier to keep. What can I say I have been generously blessed by the grace of God... and I know they are doing the right thing for me but I hate admitting that to them or anyone else. HAHAH... (I hope they never read this) Anyways Their words of wisdom have broken this little girl in a big girl body attitude I possess. Finally I have found the magic words that will set me free and God bless them. It felt like I was getting a spanking but was enjoying it if you even understand that, only adults really understand that your parents only discipline you because they love you. Now I must discipline myself, by starting a savings account to pay for everything and stop spending my money on laligags... OEMGEE really growing up is right around the corner and I am all by myself no future husband in sight... Well I guess I will start here and get better out there in the real world. Gosh growing up is hard to do! <3